‘Severance’ and the Trap of Avoidance

Imagine a life where you never have to deal with stress, sadness, or discomfort. At first glance, it might sound appealing. But would it actually make you happier? Severance, Apple TV’s critically acclaimed series, explores this very idea—what happens when we try to surgically remove hardship from our lives. The answer, it turns out, is not relief but a deep and unnatural fragmentation.

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In Severance, employees at Lumon Industries undergo a radical procedure to separate their work and personal lives completely. Their 'innie' selves exist solely in the office, oblivious to anything outside, while their 'outie' selves remain detached from the strains of work. This process is designed to spare them from distress, but as the show unfolds, it becomes clear that severance does not eliminate suffering—it only postpones and distorts it.

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Mark, the protagonist, chooses severance to escape the crushing grief of losing his wife. His 'innie' is shielded from the weight of sorrow, while his 'outie' avoids the possibility of healing. The show’s deeper message is clear: when we try to hide from pain—whether through distraction, denial, or artificial compartmentalization—we don’t actually rid ourselves of struggle. Instead, we make ourselves weaker, more fragile, and ultimately more disconnected from the fullness of life.

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Why Avoidance is a Trap

We live in a world that makes it easy to avoid discomfort. Endless entertainment, workaholism, social media—all offer a temporary escape from the harder parts of life. But avoidance doesn’t make us happier. Research on post-traumatic growth, antifragility, and resilience training reveals that confronting difficulties head-on, rather than avoiding them, fosters strength and adaptability.

1. Post-Traumatic Growth: Studies show that people who work through adversity often emerge with a deeper appreciation for life, stronger relationships, and a clearer sense of purpose. Growth happens when we process pain, not when we suppress it.
2. Antifragility: Coined by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, antifragility describes systems that don’t just survive stress but actually improve because of it. Just as muscles grow stronger through resistance training, humans develop resilience by facing and adapting to challenges rather than avoiding them.
3. Psychological Agility: The ability to navigate uncertainty and change is not innate; it is developed through experience. Those who continually confront and process their struggles build the mental flexibility needed to handle future hardships.

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The Cost of Suffering

In Severance, the Lumon workers may be spared the memory of their pain, but not the loss itself. Mark’s outie remains paralyzed by grief, while his innie exists in a sterile, disconnected reality. This mirrors the real-world consequences of emotional avoidance—when we refuse to engage with our struggles, we remain stuck. The workers did not avoid suffering; they simply lost the only thing it has to offer in return—the strength and wisdom that come from working through pain.

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Resistance training in the gym strengthens muscles not just by exposing them to weight but by forcing them to break down and rebuild stronger. If we tried to avoid all strain, our muscles would weaken, and we’d become fragile. The same principle applies to our minds and emotions. Facing hardship creates small 'tears' in our very souls, Yet, when we process them through meaningful reflection, supportive relationships, and the foundation of our values and core beliefs we may be surprised to find ourselves—more resilient, more self-aware, and more deeply connected to what matters most.

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Avoidance, on the other hand, is like keeping muscles wrapped in bubble wrap—never allowing them to be challenged, but also ensuring they never gain strength. Over time, fragility sets in, making even minor stressors feel unbearable. Struggle like resistance training—embracing it as a necessary force for growth—we develop endurance, flexibility, and strength.

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Lessons We Never Chose

‍Severance teaches us anything, it’s that pain ignored is not pain undone. Struggle shapes us whether we engage with it or not. When we ignore pain, we surrender our role in the transformation. Though we may never choose the challenges that form us, we do have a choice in how they change us. Peace is not found in the absence of struggle, but in the meaning, love, and wisdom we cultivate as we move through life’s ups and downs.